And by the way, everything in life is writable about, if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

Sylvia Plath

I remember the exact moment i gave up on writing. It wasn’t the best time of my life. I had just written a short story ‘Cat Stew’, my second , after abandoning another one half way. Took a few months till I was done with a draft. And when I finally sat down to edit it, is when I knew why it had taken so long, cause it was rubbish. And i put it aside so long, so that i didn’t have to face the truth.

I had pegged all my hopes on that one story being my best. I hoped if you simply show up and do something, it would count as effort. I half assed it. Could have saved it if i had put effort into rewriting it. But i decided to abandon Cat Stew. Second time failing to finish something i set out to do hit me hard. I stopped believing in myself. And i just gave up on everything i dreamed of.

Maybe i did suck at writing, maybe all i was good for was shitty rhymes, that I can technically pass off as poems and odes. Maybe..

But what if. What if I just need to put more effort when i “show up” to write. What if maybe i do suck and the only way to get better is to keep doing it over and over again. That ‘What if’ keeps me alive, and helps me get through tough days. ‘What if’ is why I’m back.

  • Watch Elizabeth Gilbert’s excellent TED talk if you haven’t.

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This post is part of the 200 word challenge.

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